I made a post on why mums often make unhappiness a choice, and why we need to choose to be happy regardless of what everyone around is doing wrong – our spouses, the kids, and everyone else. A mum called to say, “Grace I wish it was that easy!!!” Yea…tell me about it!
Sometimes making the choice for what is good for us isn’t always easy. But before we get to those BIG choices we have to make to be happy, let’s consider small, simple, smart choices that can help lift up our spirits, refresh our perspective, and make happiness a possibility.
Let the countdown begin…
#1 Shift your energy
Go outside for a breath of fresh air, talk a walk, or even just to sit and relax and listen to the birds. The tranquility of nature reminds us there is a world outside our problems.
#2 Acknowledge your personal journey
When you are having a hard time making sense of the situation around you, just look back at how far you have come. Where you are now and what you have might be another woman’s dream. Sit down and write a list of things you’re thankful for. No matter what challenges you’re facing now, at least you have those precious things to be grateful for.
#3 Remember the voices in your head aren’t all speaking the truth
You might hear voices telling you your husband doesn’t love you, your marriage isn’t working, your life isn’t perfect …and all what not, including what is true and what is not. Remember you don’t have to believe them or do whatever they suggest, instead tell yourself you can find true happiness regardless, and start honoring the voices that guide you toward happiness.
#4 Give yourself the permission to fall asleep
Seriously, how much sleep do we really get as mums? With all the things on the ‘to-do’ pad stuck on the refrigerator, others saved in your smart phone and the rest in your head – including things planned for babies not yet born! After a while, that takes a huge toll on your physical and psychological health and affects your mood. Permit yourself to get 7-9 hours of solid zzzzz’s! You’ll notice a real boost to your mood on the other side.
#5 Take a moment to do the “unimportant” stuff
Why not take an afternoon to do something you consider genuinely unimportant by any practical standards. Read novel, watch a movie, solve a puzzle, go window shopping, take a walk to enjoy the air instead of the exercise, or do something else simple and relaxing.
#6 Forgive those who wronged you.
Forgiving someone does not mean saying they were right and you were wrong. What it does mean is that you are allowing yourself to release the burden of your pain and anger so you can open up yourself to happiness and move on with your life.
#7 Deal with old wounds
Most of us carry around traumas from our past, especially childhood. This might trigger excessive emotional outbursts or taking small offences a little too seriously. It is all right to love ourselves—in fact, we have to love ourselves to find healing and true happiness.
#8 Find something to laugh about
When we laugh at our problem, what we are saying is that those problems are finite, and that they aren’t as huge or terrifying or insurmountable as they feel. And they suddenly, begin to shrink!
#9 Phone a friend
Even if you’re an introvert too much isolation isn’t good for you. Maybe you don’t feel like talking to anyone you know about what you are going through. Why not try a mum forum or chat group? Praying Mums Nigeria is one of them. You never know what new perspective or support someone else can bring.
#10 Do something you truly love
Motherhood brings responsibilities we don’t necessarily enjoy. But you don’t have to let any of it stop you from doing what you are truly passionate about. Even if you can’t do it full-time, even if no one understands—do it anyway in any way that you can. That will bring you true happiness and fulfillment.
Do you feel any happiness yet?
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